TIDBITS
... of humorous stories

"Breaking News"

  What about caffeine?

There is incredible news from the United Kingdom. Researchers have discovered that when chocolate is fused with caffeine it may be effective in fighting tumors.

Starbuck's pharmaceutical division immediately announced that they are coming out with a chocolate mocha drink.

I wonder if their patrons can write it off as a medical expense?

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In 1969, a Mr. Philips murdered a man, but because his I.Q. was under seventy, he was legally considered retarded which made him ineligible for electrocution.

Over the many years in prison it seems the lawyers gibberish has rubbed off on him and he recently scored high enough on the intelligence test to now qualify for the fryer....lucky him!

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New York City resident was sentenced to three months in jail for giving cocaine to two teenage girls who both then died of overdoses.

He could not be held accountable for their deaths because they voluntarily took the drug. He is expected to spend less than one week incarcerated.

One shocked onlooker commented "I thought possession of drugs was still illegal in this country.

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Criminals sometime beg to be caught. In Brazil, a burglar, late at night, cut a hole in the roof of a bar with intentions of robbing it. He sawed a circular opening with himself in the middle. Needless to say, as the roof gave way he fell and hit the bar causing his gun to discharge, shooting himself in the foot.

He left the bar without taking anything and crawled home. The next morning police followed the blood trail and arrested the would-be thief.

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